Dear Writers of Victorious, No Just No
by manicmethod
Summary: The characters of Victorious address the fandom to defend themselves. Inspired by cmsully and PhoenixDiamond's stories of an identical nature.
1. Signed Tori

Sooo...I got bored. I was reading through some old stories I had bookmarked and I came across a Kingdom Hearts fic 'Dear Writers of Fanfiction, No Just No' by cmsully, which had in turn been inspired by 'Dear Writers of Naruto, No Just No' by PhoenixDiamond and I figured this'd make a fun victorious fic. So here I go.

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Victorious. I'm only putting this here to say I didn't come up with the story idea.

* * *

Dear Writers of Victorious

What is your problem with me? I'm the main character, it's sort of the rules of children's television that I try to resolve everyone's problems. Also, can we get something straight? I'm not gay. I don't have this inner turmoil where I'm constantly thinking about how awesome it would be to screw Jade's brains out. I'm not trying to steal Beck away from her, and André is my FRIEND.

Also, my father does NOT domestically abuse me like, all the time. Or ever.

Signed Tori.

* * *

Writing this one kinda broke my heart seeing as Jori is my OTP. But no pain no gain I guess. I promise to be totally unbiased in writing these. I mean, there's no Victorious character I hate, or even dislike wholly. It's more of an S/he is my least fav sort of thing, i.e. Beck. No hate.


	2. Signed Beck

Here is the second one. I'd say these'll be once a week things, and I'm pretty sure I can stick to that seeing as they're like 50 words long. I already have a lot of them done, I'm just pacing myself.

* * *

Dear Writers of Victorious

I am a calm, collected and overall level headed guy. Sure, I have arguments with Jade (whom I love dearly) but the way you guys make it out to be, we're fighting ALL THE TIME. We're not. Do you think we'd have gotten back together if we were? I do not try to rape anything with breasts and a vagina whenever we do break up, I don't try to sleep with ROBBIE of all people, and as much as it may surprise you, I am in fact, not a robot.

Signed Beck

* * *

Yeah, I don't hate Beck. I don't love him either, but I don't see why a majority of people, especially Jorians, hate him so much. I know he's a bit emotionless at times, but he's really not as bad as people make him seem.


	3. Signed Cat

Annnnd here comes Cat! Screw the weekly thing, I'm publishing these when I damn well feel like it. This is a lot shorter than the other two and than the rest will be, because I really don't have a lot to say in Cat's defense.

* * *

Dear Writers of Victorious

Okay, I'd just like to say that I don't carry stuffed animals around with me. That was ONE time. There's also this thing, where people make me say stuff about my brother that has nothing to do with anything. Whenever I tell you guys about my brother for real, it has you know, even a teeny-weeny bit to do with the subject. And I'm not like, into BDSM or whatever, so can you guys, stop please?

Signed Cat


	4. Signed Jade

Whoop! It's Jade. I really hope I got her character down since she's my favorite -.-

* * *

Dear Writers of Victorious

Alright losers, listen up. Before I say anything else, I wanna clear up that I I don't constantly refer to Vega as, well, Vega. There are plenty of times I've called her Tori, alright? I'm also not secretly in love with her, so get that out of your head. I'm not a sex-addict, so stop saying I drag everyone into that shitty little closet to come down on them, and when in the hell have I ever referred to Cat as 'Kitty'? Please remind me, I'd love to know.

Signed Jade

* * *

I liked doing this one. Even as a Jori shipper I find stories from Jade's p.o.v about how scared she is to tell Tori her feelings and this angsty crap goes on for like half the freaking story so annoying. Like, I'm sure the first one or two fics like that were okay, but seriously guys. We need fresh ideas. By the way, if you're anything like I am, I'd recommend Animals and Prizes by Alsike. It's great because Jade keeps her bitchy attitude throughout. Beware though, there's a reason it's M rated.

Review and tell me who you'd like done next!


	5. Signed Trina

_This took sort of long because I don't read enough stories focusing on any of the other characters to pick out things. I'm trying Trina now, but honestly I think the fanbase captures her pretty well._

* * *

Dear writers of Victorious

So I've noticed a few stories complain about my overall lack of talent and brains. Can I say that they wouldn't let me be in the plays if I didn't have just a little bit of talent? Besides, we all know I've got tons of it. I'm not an idiot either. I'll admit I'm a teeny bit gullible, but I'm not a total spazzbag. Another thing, a lot of people assume that because I rub my talent in my baby sister's face from time to time I hate her. Guys, please, if I hated her, I wouldv'e let her pop her face in those bush dasies when Jade presented the chance.

Signed Trina.

* * *

_I didn't really like that one. At all. It's not funny in the slightest...:'( I'll do better next time._


End file.
